I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
