I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Randomize
