He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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