I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Randomize
