There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
