Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
