I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
