he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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