So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
