Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
