I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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