Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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