I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
The beer is more important than you right now.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
