yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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