I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
