How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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