I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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