question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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