I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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