When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
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Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
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I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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