Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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