belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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