Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
