The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
