How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
