not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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