i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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