cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
