yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
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he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
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I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
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