I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize