Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
