And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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