drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
