Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
