Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
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Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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