Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
