My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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