Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
