So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
