It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
