on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
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