dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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