The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
