he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
