Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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