My friends, they love my intelligence
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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