David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Randomize
