Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
