It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
