All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
