Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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