i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
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