I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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