you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
