god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
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You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
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Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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