I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
