Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
