Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
