I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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