Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
