Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize