Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
