We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
