Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize