You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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