Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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