Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
What a dumb baby whore.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Randomize
