Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
