It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
