Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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