xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize