Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
